fuck home

THU 26 APR 2001
I wake up at 8:30 in Rick and Anne's guest room in Oakland. The first thing I do is call Ted. There is no answer. There is a headache. Visions of gin and cranberry. Still no answer. There is time. I make some tea. At 9:30 Ted shows up at Rick and Anne's. Shari is driving the infamous Chevy Corsica. He has forgotten something at home, so she drives us back across town and then on to SFO. Ted picks up the tickets at check in counter but we have to wait for Kyle. Waiting. Waiting. Our flight to Minneapolis departs at 11:30. Kyle shows up at 11:15 with the entire drumset and several suitcases. His shuttle bus had refused to take him because he had too much baggage, but he was able to get a taxi at the last minute. We run to the gate and just make our flight.

Tim is waiting for us in Minneapolis. He is wearing his clown nose. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Journey guitarist Neal Schon steps off the plane after us. He is met by very tan, very blond, very Baywatch-looking woman. We notice that he was allowed to take his guitar on board, while we were forced to check ours. The unfairness of the situation is overshadowed by his greatness.

The tour has begun. Tim and Kyle go outside to smoke pot. I ask at the check-in counter if it would be possible to arrange for a vegetarian meal. I am told that it is too late, but as consolation am given $15 in food vouchers to be used at any of the airport eateries. Ted and I go spend the food vouchers on beer. We feel that this is what Neal Schon would want us to do. We fly to Iceland. The sun sets and rises.

FRI 27 APR 2001
We arrive in Amsterdam at about 2PM. Tim calls Engelbart's Garage and discovers that Pietro Our Italian Booking Agent has not reserved a van for us as promised. They have a van, but they require cash in advance - no credit. ATM machines are purged and Tim and I get train tickets to Lichtenvoorde. Three trains and two hours later we arrive at Lichtenvoorde. We are about 1500 guilders short of the full amount, but they agree to let us pay upon return and feed us cake and coffee. Incredibly nice people.

Our ride is a large, green, diesel, Mercedes Benz cargo van. We drive the two hours back to the airport where Ted and Kyle have made a small fort out of luggage. Kyle is asleep in the center of the fort. We drive to Neimegen and pick up the T-shirts we ordered ahead of time. We stop in at Extrapool, a small art center where we have played several times. There is a band from Athens, Georgia playing. They are dressed up in bunny suits and are shouting about Abraham Lincoln. This does not seem strange to me. However, I wish they weren't so loud. The Extrapool dude doesn't recognize me, so I introduce myself. I tell him that we are driving to Brussels and he offers to pull out some cots for us. We decide to pass on the offer, and instead drive on to Brussels. The “irie” members of fuck purchase some goods at the "coffee shop" and then we head out. We arrive in Brussels at about 1AM but it takes us two hours to find Anne and Nathalie's house. At this point we have been awake for well over 24 hours and are pretty well roasted.

SAT 28 APR 2001
We wake up at a reasonable hour and head over to Olivier's to have a look at the amps we had purchased on the previous European trip. They still suck. We go shopping for children's books to be turned into "Conduct" CD packages. We find some good ones, all in French. Ted buys a little bass amp. Anne and Nathalie cook us pasta. We go to a party and drink many tiny beers.

SUN 29 APR 2001
We have brunch at Olivier's and laze about the house. Later Mark Moxie cooks us dinner.

MON 30 APR 2001
Pietro Our Italian Booking Agent was unable to get any shows in BeNeLux, so our friends in the band Moxie set this one up for us at the last minute. We learn a Moxie song as a surprise. About 30 people show up - which is better than we expected. Tim's amp blows a fuse and Ted hates his new amp, but the show goes well and the Moxies are surprised.

TUE 1 MAY 2001
Slept until 5PM. Ate a little something, and then went out for potato fritz and little bitty beers.

WED 2 MAY 2001
Slept until 5AM. Got up early and organized merch and whatnot. We head out for Frankfurt, teary eyed to be leaving our Moxie friends. Nervously, we enter the Fatherland. The club is on a picturesque river. It is a tiny cellar. The promoter is upset because there have been no write ups and he received no posters from anyone (i.e., Pietro Our Italian Booking Agent). Again, about 30 people show up and the show goes well. The owner of the bar leaves to get some food saying, "Help yourself to whatever you can find." We find the tap, and stay up until about 5AM drinking. There is a chameleon sleeping upstairs.

THU 3 MAY 2001
the chameleon has invaded my mind. it's all i can think about. my eyes twitch and cock. my claws grab and i move about looking for crickets. Grandaddy is on the stereo and i hear crickets. my tongue is rolled. i am green, but do not have to be. i creep about the edge of the world. the birds fly by the window and i duck.

..Geoff Tour Diary 2002--